Truth

I’ve come to the conclusion that truth doesn’t exist, and if it did, it wouldn’t matter. Nobody cares about the truth of anything. All that matters is what you, yourself, number one, BELIEVES. Doesn’t matter if facts don’t support your beliefs or if science proves them unequivocally wrong. Doesn’t matter if two million people disagree with you. You’re still right simply because you believe it. I don’t know how to live in this world. 

Minimalism

I took a shower today.  Watched some TV.  Ate something.  Picked up dog poo. That’s enough. 

Grief

The moments creep up, catching us unawares.  And the tears, they burn.  When it hits your four year old granddaughter, what can you say, what can you do, to make it go away for a baby who shouldn’t even know death yet?  And then we’re just crying along with her because it hurts so damn bad to know she’s gone and never coming back.  And we’re all lost again, wondering why she had to leave us.  Jesus, it hurts.  

The Dog

The dog is hovering.  Either I’m about to die or he really hates the smell of garlic bread..

Nihilism

We’re born, we live, we die.  There is no purpose.  So, do what you want.

Morals and ethics are man-made constructs, and like so many man-made constructs, flawed in the way all human things are flawed, by not being thought all the way through.  By only making sense to some, not the whole.  

But is it “wrong” for us (as humans) to make constructs out of ethereal thoughts and ideas?  Is it “wrong” to strive?  

I don’t have any answers.

Four years ago ...

Four years ago, I closed my office door and warned people to only seek admittance for work-related conversations.  I was beyond terrified that the country of my birth had elected a clown, an idiot, a megalomaniac narcissist, and a potential psychopath to the highest office in the land.  I simply didn’t know what to do next.  

Now, as we should be ushering in a new regime, the terror continues.  I’ve lost faith in my government, my neighbors, and even my spouse as people succumb to the vitriol of lies, hatred, and blatant violence of a man who “should” never have held any kind of elected office, let alone the presidency.  I am ashamed to be an American. 

Alas

So many dogs.  So little time.

Yearning for the zone

On my mind.  Wishing my cold bare foot were tucked up into some wheel-y boots and carrying my old fat ass around in circles on a slick wood floor.  I’m craving it.  I no longer care what color the skates are.  Just let me fly. 

Urges

I feel a powerful need to purge today.  I can’t ‘cuz I’m in NY, but I’m thinking about it. I’m thinking about all the stuff I’ve collected because I might use it someday ... I might have a project ... I might be able to sell XYZ.  Nope.  Never gonna happen.  

Never.  Gonna.  Happen.

I got a lot of stuff.  Wonder if I can make $1000?

Day one of SSDYear

This is not a good way to make a post. The phone keypad is too small. 

2021- expectations?  None. Truthfully. After the past year, I’m all out of predictions. I’m still stuck in NY with no fucking clue when I’ll be able to go home and how I’ll feel about it when I do. My kid is still the most important thing in my life, and she always will be, but she’s 31. Now, 2020 was an incredible shitstorm, that’s true, and her life shouldn’t be this fucked up, but it is, so here we are. If I ever needed a reminder that life doesn’t come with guarantees, I got it. In spades. So somebody please off this asshole so we can move on. Aiight?